A month after my last blog on this topic (May 2014) I was admitted to hospital for a week with an infection related to chronic pain I had been having since August the previous year. After months of blood tests, seeing consultants, x-rays and ultrasounds, I finally received my diagnosis - Crohn's Disease (of the small intestine and terminal ileum) - an inflammatory bowel disease which attacks the immune system if not managed appropriately.
When I came out of hospital I had lost a lot of weight but I was also told there were certain foods I should avoid and most of it was healthy foods that normal people should be eating. I felt really good about how I looked despite my hospital stay being the main reason for it. However, as time went on it became difficult to manage my diet with the restrictions. Don't get me wrong, I was so pleased that my condition wasn't as bad as many other people who have Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative Colitis. I am a member of a number of Crohn's and Colitis support groups on Facebook and when I see what those sufferers have to go through with stomas and constantly in and out of hospital I often feel guilty.
I was started on a variety of medication but bad side effects meant I had to stop one of them. I was then put on an injection - an immunosuppressant - that I have to administer myself every other week.
Aside from this I began to put on the weight I had lost. It was difficult to keep to a diet that cut out the foods that would help me to lose weight and I'm not particularly a fan of the vegetables that are fine for me to eat. I then started to get depressed about it which, for me, means eating to make myself feel better - to enjoy the taste.
It got to a point where I was told I had fatty liver and I needed to lose weight, which I've been trying to do, however, I haven't made much progress since my last blog but I have if taking into account how much weight I had gained in order to get back to where I was.
I'm still trying to lose weight and will continue to do so. I just need to get my head into the mindset.
Another hurdle I'm trying to overcome is that I enjoy food. I can't help it. I love cooking it, I love eating it. I always like to try new things, new foods, new tastes, new restaurants (or restaurants and cuisines I haven't tried before).
I have a new motivation now, I want to look amazing on my wedding day. Just over 4 months to go. I haven't started looking at wedding dresses yet because I don't feel I've lost enough weight yet.
I will keep trying. It's hard but I must keep trying.
